Scottish Independence
by SnowWhiteOwl
Summary: How a successful referendum about the Scottish independence would affect the wizarding world. Oneshot, humour/parody, possibly crack-fic.


_I haven't yet seen a fic that deals with the referendum about the Scottish independence, even though a secession of Scotland certainly would affect the wizarding world too, wouldn't it? Well, I couldn't get this idea out of my head, so here my version of what might happen. I know I have completely messed up the timeframe, just imagine that the referendum took place about twenty years ago. Also, I don't mean to offend anyone's political views - personally, I think that national states are rubbish, but everyone is free to have her or his own opinion about matters like this!  
><em>

_I'm almost certain that this could be considered a crack-fic, at least it's very unrealistic. Nevertheless (or because of it...) have fun!_

* * *

><p><strong><span>Scotland becomes independent<span>**

#

Dumbledore stared at the Ministry of Magic. He couldn't believe what the man had just told him. "I'm sorry, Cornelius, but I'm sure I misunderstood you. You cannot really have implied that the ministry means to ban three quarters of our students from continuing their schooling at the most prestigious school of magic in Great Britain?"

"I'm afraid you have heard correctly, Dumbledore. We're all terrible sorry, of course, but we cannot do anything about it, can we? After all, the people have decided, and since we value our democracy, we have to comply with the people's wishes," Fudge, the Minister of Magic, said mournfully. However, the sparkle in the man's eyes gave away his real feelings about the matter.

"You're speaking in riddles, minister."

"Oh, you haven't yet heard about it?" Fudge asked, feigning surprise, "there was a referendum a few days ago, and it seems that the people determined that Scotland is to become independent from the United Kingdom. So of course, the ministry has decided to set up a separate school for magical children of _our _country. I'm sure you understand that we cannot ask the parents to send their children to a _foreign_ country only for educational purposes. Not to mention that we need to make sure that certain standards are met when it comes to the education of the future of our country. But of course, if the one or other family insists on sending their offsprings to Hogwarts, we will gladly grant exceptions to the general rule. We are a free and tolerant community, after all," the Minister of Magic ended smugly.

"But that referendum took place in the muggle world," Dumbledore protested.

"Headmaster, please," the Minister gazed at the old wizard patronizingly, "do you really mean to suggest that the wizarding world simply should ignore our fellow citizens' wishes, only because they haven't been gifted with magical talent?"

The headmaster opened his mouth to protest, but was cut short by the infuriating man on the other side of his desk.

"While being self-governed, the magical community is still part of this country's political system – or should I say countries. Just like any other citizens, wizards and witches are eligible to vote and have to heed the legislation passed by the muggle government. It's not the fault of the Ministry of Magic that hardly any wizard or witch made use of their right to cast their vote in this latest poll – or in any election at all, really." Fudge added as an afterthought, smiling coldly at the old man in his ridiculous purple robes.

"Anyway, we have to accept the new situation and deal with it as best as we can. The Ministry is already in the process of informing the parents of current English Hogwarts' students about the new school the young witches and wizards are obliged to attend from coming month onwards."

"But Cornelius, this is _Hogwarts, _one of the best magical schools in the world! You cannot mean to close it down!"

Fudge's eyes widened in mock shock. "We would never dream of doing something like this, Dumbledore! But we have to provide an adequate school for our own citizens and inform our people about the changes that are about to occur due to the outcome of the referendum. I'm sure that the Scottish Ministry of Magic will be glad to have such a renowned school readily available and will provide you with enough funds to cope with the lack of financial support from the English Ministry."

"Scottish Ministry of Magic?" Dumbleodre asked blankly.

"Oh, I don't know much about this matter, but I'm sure that you Scots will establish your own government soon enough." Fudge said dismissively.

"But Cornelius, there aren't this many students whose family are residents of Scotland. Even if we would raise the fees dramatically it still wouldn't be enough to maintain the castle. Not to mention to pay the teachers."

"Well, Dumbledore, that's no longer the problem of the English government. We wish you the best of luck for the future, of course, but I really need to go now. I still need to converse with Mr Potter about his transfer to his new school. The English Ministry is determined to do everything in its power to protect the boy-who-lived and to make sure that the boy is safe and happy. You don't need to accompany me, headmaster, I'm familiar with the location of the house of Gryffindor."

Before Dumbledore had a chance to really comprehend the implication of this last statement, the English Minister of Magic had already turned around and left his office.

* * *

><p>The first year after Scotland had become independent from the United Kingdom everything went as Fudge had planned. The new school – located in a heavily warded castle in Cornwell – was a huge success, particularly because of the generous donations of one Lucius Malfoy, who was quite happy to spend his money on something that would annoy Dumbledore.<p>

Most of the students seemed glad that for a change, they had competent teachers in all subjects, not just in a select few. Even Harry – who had initially been upset at the prospect of leaving the one place he had considered home – started to enjoy his new life without constant attempts on his life after a few months. Of course, it was a bit sad that he was no longer in the same class as Ron – or even in the same school, for that matter, as the Weasleys had been amongst the few that had decided to continue sending their children to Hogwarts – but to his great surprise he quickly discovered that besides Ron and Hermione, other people existed, too.

Everyone was content with things as they were - well, except Dumbledore and his closest allies, of course.

However, about a year after the Scottish independence, some death eaters that hadn't been arrested after the war performed a ritual, which resulted in Voldemort regaining his body.

Initially, the English Ministry of Magic refused to believe the rumours about the dark wizard's return. But soon, Fudge realized that the Scottish independence also had their drawbacks. Until this point, the Minister had been quite happy that the referendum had allowed him to kill two birds with one stone: getting rid of Dumbledore while simultaneously getting more control over the education (or rather manipulation) of young wizards and witches.

When Voldemort and his minions raided the first muggle-village on Scottish territory, both the dark lord and the Minister of Magic learned it the hard way what it meant that Scotland now was an independent country: The ICW started to investigate as now the Voldemort-situation was no longer a civil war but a cross-national armed conflict.

Aurors from all over the world were suddenly swarming England as well as Scotland. And since the ICW refused to exclude the muggle-government from matters that clearly affected the non-magical population, soon the authorities of both countries as well as the non-magical-pendant to the ICW, the UN, were ready to fight what was perceived as the most serious threat to the British Isles since the Germans attacked more than fifty years ago.

With the whole white-magical-ized world (also referred to as the 'civilized world' by the non-magicals, whatever this meant) as well as the armed forces from the muggle world against them, Voldemort and his followers were suddenly confronted with a serious problem.

They weren't prepared to go down without a fight, though.

Within weeks, the situation in England became more and more unbearable for muggleborns, half-bloods and of course muggles themselves and the two newly established Scottish Ministries (magical and mundane alike) were faced with an increasing influx of refugees from its neighbouring country.

At first, the authorities tried to spread the displaced people amongst the country evenly. Soon, though, it became apparent that there were simply too much people, and the difficulties were aggravated by the fact that some of them had displayed strange powers that frightened the masses.

The ministries from both worlds decided that it would be best to separate magical and non-magical people, at least until the terrorists, that were in the process of ravaging England and made constant attempts to invade Scotland, had been apprehended.

After much protest from the muggle-born witches and wizards, they were allowed to take their closest friends and relatives with them to the place the governments had determined to be the perfect shelter for the wizarding refugees: An old and heavily warded castle in the Highlands.

And so it came that Hogwarts became a refugee camp.

Dumbledore hadn't been happy about this decision. Surely such a fine school was not the place to allow destitute and traumatized people to find shelter. There were some nice, big caves in the mountains, weren't there?

In the end, though, the old headmaster had to accept the new purpose his school served. Not only had the ICW threatened to persecute him for aiding Voldemort in the genocide the mad wizard was quite openly planning, but also did neither Hogwarts nor its wards or inventory (namely the house elves) do anything that suggested that the castle or anything sentient within its walls were unhappy about providing people with food and a place to sleep.

* * *

><p>By the time Voldemort made it to his old school in order to finish the job he had started fifty years ago, most of his death eaters had already been arrested or killed.<p>

The muggles didn't have great difficulties with the the strange black-robed figures, at least not after they had discovered that in order to get hold of them, they only had to break the peculiar sticks they insisted on carrying around with them. Which, by the way, led both the yellow press and reputable professors to wonder what new God these people could possibly worship.

However, the leader of the terrorist organization had so far avoided capture.

When Voldemort appeared as close to the gates of Hogwarts as you could get, Aurors and soldiers stood at the ready.

Unfortunately, at this time, only English Aurors had been stationed at the school-turned-refugee-camp, and most of them disapparated at the mere sight of wizard they had learned to fear their entire life. The few that stayed were too busy trying to control their bladder function to be of any real help, and so it was left to the muggles to deal with the threat.

After the commanding officer became aware of the terrorist's mad rant about one Harry Potter, who apparently was the man's nemesis and the main reason why he had destroyed an entire country, he motioned his subordinates not to kill him. That would be against everything he had ever learned, killing a mentally ill.

When the terrorists noticed the soldiers that surrounded him, he let out a deranged laugh and pointed his mysterious stick at them.

When the first soldier was hit by a beam of green light and promptly fell to the ground, quite obviously dead, Voldemort's fate was sealed.

In the end, it was private Dursley whose bullet hit the man in the head, resulting in his instant death.

* * *

><p>And Harry Potter?<p>

Well, the boy finished his schooling, glad that his relatives had never made him adopting their name so that now he was out of the spotlight. His Aunt and Uncle, however, were quite pleased that it had been one of their relatives (however distantly) who had killed the leader of that 'freaky scum', especially when years later, Dudley was accepted at one of the more prestigious universities because of his last name.

The only time Harry made it in the news again was years later, when on behalf of the magical community, he gave a speech on the occasion of the abolishment of all national boarders across Europe, reminding the few people who were still a bit wary about practically living in the same country as all those weirdos on the continent, that it had only been the close cooperation between Scotland and England that had led to the defeat of the magical equivalent of Hitler.


End file.
